— We take our content seriously. This article was written by a real person at BREL.
Amazing price/Priced below market! – Probably NOT an amazing price or priced below market
Bigger than it appears – NOT big or I took those crappy photos on my Blackberry.
Calling all Contractors! – Literally, this is a plea for contractor assistance. Experienced renovators only!
COZY house/master bedroom/yard – SMALL house/master bedroom/yard
Diamond in the Rough – Desperately in need of renovation
Eight kitchens and bathrooms – Illegal rooming house
Funky – An artist’s house – you’ll either love it or hate it. Walls likely all painted a different vibrant colour.
Hurry Won’t Last! – Especially funny when it’s been on the market for 85 days.
Leslieville North/Upper Bloor West Village/North Beaches/South Junction Triangle – not the neighbourhood you’re expecting but we’re trying to increase the price by referencing a more expensive neighbourhood
Location, location, location! – House is a disaster, but the location is good.
Needs TLC/Handyman Special – Home needs attention – hasn’t been renovated or maintained in a long time. Expect holes in walls, missing appliances and possible mold.
NEWER roof/appliances/floors – Not new, but replaced by the current owner in the last 5 years. Or so.
Partial lake view – If you stand on the balcony, lean all the way to the right and have 20/20 vision you’ll see a sliver of lake.
Priced Lower than the Last Sale – Seller wants a bidding war – they aren’t actually going to accept lower than the last sale.
Priced to Sell – Should indicate a motivated Seller, but we often see this on properties that have been on the market for a long time, so it’s probably more indicative of a motivated agent.
Recreation room with wet bar – Expect 1970’s wood panelling, shag carpets and one of those retro bars our parents used to have.
Same owner for 40 years – This is realtor-code for ‘the property hasn’t been renovated in 40 years’.
Show and sell – Still no idea what this means but I read it in an MLS listing at least once a week.
Spa-like bathroom – Usually just means there’s a nice showerhead and the towels are white
Unique floorplan – Usually weird floorplan, with odd additions, no upstairs bathroom or the main kitchen in the basement.
Do you have a favourite REALTOR phrase? Tell me in the comments below!