Mouth-breathing, Purell body purification and strategic eye averting aren’t skills that REALTORS tend to boast about…..but trust me, some of what we see (and smell) while traipsing through houses is weird and just plain disgusting. Out of respect for the slobs and freakazoids, I’ve refrained from taking photos, but those images are trapped in my head. Today, I purge them from my brain by sharing them with you.
The Weird, the Creepy and the Just-Plain-Disgusting Things We See
- Mold, rats, cockroaches and racoons running through the living room. I guess some people don’t seem to realize that there are exterminators in Toronto – and no, I’m not exaggerating about the racoons (and it was in a million-dollar listing!)
- Feces, yes feces. I realize that the cat is annoyed that the house is for sale, but litter boxes that haven’t been cleaned in weeks – or worse, not been used because the living room was more convenient: disgusting. And Fido’s wonderful wet dog smell was once so revolting that we had to leave the apartment without even seeing it.
- Hoarders – they don’t just exist on the A&E reality TV show; our city has it’s fair share of hoarders too. 400 empty egg cartons? Every piece of paper used since 1985? Rooms so full you can barely walk through them? Been there, seen that.
- Drug and sex paraphernalia. This is a G-rated blog, so I won’t go into detail, but imagine the strangest and most bizarre items out there (think 50 Shades of Grey) – and imagine seeing them on a Seller’s coffee or bedside table, or hanging from the ceiling. With your client and her elderly grandmother with you.
- Random collections. We’ve seen entire closets full of creepy dolls, rooms filled with thousands of clowns and religious paraphenalia that would make the new Pope blush.
- Condemned houses, lights without power, blood spots and more. We especially love when a listing is described as having no electricity or running water and there’s a disclaimer that they aren’t liable if you get hurt while showing the property. Thanks for that. Bring your own flashlight.
- Cabbage. More people cook with cabbage in Toronto that you might imagine – and the smell lingers forever. Breathe in through the mouth, out from the mouth. Repeat.
- Illegal rooming houses with 20 people living in them – padlocks on every door, make-shift electrical and creepy tenants are just the beginning.
We see a little of everything in real estate, and while we’re trained to overlook the tired carpet and 1970’s wallpaper, sometimes, it’s just hard to believe that people live the way they do.